Beware the sociopaths

The majority of psychopaths manage to ply their trade without murdering people. By focusing too much on the most brutal and newsworthy examples of their behavior, we run the risk of remaining blind to the larger picture: psychopaths who don’t kill but who have a personal impact on our daily lives.”

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Early in our support group work with the victims of psychopaths they identified their partner or ex-partner as the Psychopath in their lives. This then became shortened to the expression “My P did……”. They experienced themselves as the victim of a psychopath. In many cases this was true and the mental health professional they were working with accurately diagnosed their partner and helped them get out of the relationship and restore their lives. However, they continued to see themselves as victims and held onto their rage at their partner and their shattered lives. In order to move on it became essential for them to look at themselves and their participation in the relationship and the wreckage of their lives.

It was out of this dynamic that the Sociopathic Style™ was born. By continuing to identify themselves as victims and labeling their partner as a Psychopath they were continuing to live a relationship style that was Sociopathic in nature. When we point the finger at the other person and label them as “sick”, disturbed and evil, i.e. we“demonize the other”; our behavior is Sociopathic Style™ behavior. They continued to identify the other as, “my P”, but were able to see that they were Sociopathic Style™ participants in the process.


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5 Responses to “Beware the sociopaths”

  1. Reena Says:

    I don’t like the way they set-up their web-page. It is difficult to read.


  2. Says:

    In January 2007 I met who I thought was the man of my dreams. was charming, attentive, spoiled me rotten and made me feel like I was the best thing that ever happened to him and the sex was great and often. He used to tell me that he “fell in love with me the first time he saw me”. Over the next 6 months he became friends with my father and we spent weekends together. He would come to Maryland or I would go to NC. We were engaged in 6 months and married 11 months later. Before we got married, I asked him in my garage one day how many times he has been married, there was 2 that I knew of, but just asked. He told me 5. I almost died. He then convinced me that they all cheated on him and were horrible to him. I believed him and went on with the wedding. The trouble started on our wedding night, he didn’t want sex. I was insulted but just thought it was a long day. I purchased a house in NC where he stayed during the building of the house. The mortgage went in my name because he was self employed and owned the land we were putting it on. After that, he wanted to upgrade his Harley. I told him I could not afford the house, car and motorcycle. He told me that he talked to the Lord and He would provide and that would make all the payments. I agreed. Over the next 3 years my life was miserable. He never helped pay one bill in the house, he never made a motorcycle payment. I was robbing Peter to pay Paul. If I asked him for any help at all it would turn into a 3 week fight where it ended up that I was crazy. In the 3 ½ years we have been married, we have had sex about 20 times (before marriage, that was a week). We would go out and he would be hugging every woman in the place, but would never even speak to me. We had many arguments which resulted in him making false police calls to keep me in line. He would twist everything I ever said. In public, he was Mr. Wonderful and at the home, he was Mr Nasty. He belittled everything I did. He even tried to have me arrested because I wanted to go see my mother at Christmas. He lied to police and told them I assaulted him. They did not believe him, but it was still another false call to the police. The only time he was nice is when I planned on leaving. He finally moved out Feb 1, 2011 because he is working for Racing Electronics on the NASCAR circuit and I am out of money.

    Over the last few months, I have done some research. His previous wives have all gone thru the same thing I did, he goes thru their money and when its his turn to contribute, he leaves, calls them crazy and is verbally abusive. He has left all of them in debt and never has helped any of them. He has an ex girlfriend that luckily didn’t marry him, but she bought him a truck he never made payments on, she repossessed it and kept it. She was smart.

    Also none of his wives ever cheated on him, it was the opposite. So now I am $120,000 in debt and he is traveling around the US looking for victim #7. If I try to talk to him about anything he is abusive and tries to make it my fault. He will never help with the debt he incurred and the house is being foreclosed. Well I know its not my fault. He is a clear sociopath and I just hope other women don’t fall for his con.


  3. diddly Says:

    Check out Nasty People by Jay Carter. Easy read.


  4. Beware curry without the rice « Diddly Says:

    […] Beware the sociopaths […]


  5. Tina Says:

    Kelly-you should be glad you got rid of him. He is back here in NC after you threw him out of your house in VT spreading lies about you and telling the new “victim” that he came back here for her. He’s got her paying his bills just like you did. Atleast your free. Shes stupid enough to believe that he came back for her when we all know that he had no place else to go. Hes such a loser.


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