Carl Semmelroth ‘interpreted’
From birth, most of us are surrounded by a multitude of things we didn’t earn or arrange. Examples include the air we breathe, care we are given, food, and the concern of others.
It is difficult to understand why all this is happening.
We are apt to assume it is because we deserve their concern and attention.
We deserve it all just for existing.
We don’t easily see that what we receive is given to us as a gift.
Instead of an attitude of gratitude, we develop a self-important attitude of entitlement.
In this state, we will just not except a gift.
Everything must be deserved or it must be paid for.
The giver is left with a sense of emptiness.
Self-importance results in you becoming preoccupied with what others think of you to make sure they recognize your entitlements.
This constant vigilance of others turns you into a “nervous nellie” until someone fails to recognize those entitlements, at which point you are apt get angry and attack or withdraw.
Self-importance turns you into a performer, always on stage, very self-concious.
A useful question to ask yourself:
Do I want to attend to others view of me, or would I rather concentrate on what I am doing?
Do you need some motivation to concentrate on what you are doing?
Do you want the antidote to being a self-important nervous nellie always on the verge of attacking or withdrawing from others?
Here it is :
Focus on what you want.
Discern what you want and concentrate on it.
Not for the self-important.
You can start though by noticing the many things you get that you want without earning them.
Maybe the feeling of gratitude will spring up. Maybe not. For now, just notice. You can’t force it, just like you can’t compel generosity. That’s all the advice I can give.
Feel proud when you earn what you want.
You’re building your self-esteem.
Self-esteem assures you that you have the ability to deal with whatever occurs in your life with confidence and grace.