Chores not getting done, Dad getting pissed

I am having a lot of trouble dealing with my older kids with respect to doing chores.  It is a familiar story to many I am sure. I have to lean on them to do them, and they give me so much attitude that I just want to do it myself. I also pay them $20/month which adds insult to injury. I get angry after awhile and then I have the bad attitude. 

I am thinking of renegotiating the whole thing from the ground up. Start with a clean slate.

Not sure how to do it but I am going to start slowly – very small and easily enforceable agreements.

What’s the big deal here?

 I am going insane.

I want them to see the relationship between work and hunger and food and room to move around and clothes and a house that doesn’t stink and time and money to relax and play. I want them to experience how all of it is interrelated and without one component you don’t have the other.  More of one component, as long as it doesn’t exclude the others, leads to more of the other.


3 Responses to “Chores not getting done, Dad getting pissed”

  1. Becky Says:

    Why not pay by chore or on a weekly instead of monthly basis? Maybe it would help to keep their eyes on the prize. Maybe certain unpleasant chores like cleaning the bathroom should be worth more $. It may seem like you’re taking away from the greater lesson and making it all about money, BUT, they will learn to take pride in their work in spite of themselves.
    Make sure they do dishes. Mom never enforced that as a chore and I swear it’s why I am so undisciplined with doing them as an adult.
    I am curious to know what ends up working for you and the kids. Nate sometimes helps me fold laundry. He also likes to help me load the washer. Yaay, Nate!


  2. Reena Says:

    OMG Becky! Clean the bathroom?! HA! Ha!

    Xavier’s Chores: empty half of the dishwasher when dishes are clean –this is only 2-3 times per week; empty the garbage cans in their various places; once a week take the garbage out to the curb for pickup.

    That is it!

    Gabrielle’s Chores: empty half of the dishwasher when it is full (2-3 per week); empty the recycling from their areas; once a week take the recycling out to the curb for pick up. Gabrielle is also suppose to feed Phoebe and walk her– this is the dog she wanted. She often has to be reminded to feed Phoebe and rarely walks her regardless.

    The kids do get paid weekly- $5 a week. They asked to be paid monthly instead.

    In all fairness to Gabrielle, she does help out with Josie sometimes. I pay her extra when she does at a time that it really matters.

    Josie likes to help a lot with chores as well. All I can say– enjoy it while it lasts!


  3. diddly Says:

    I have talked to them and told them I am done hounding them to do chores that I pay them to do.

    Xavier mentioned that they could write down the ones they do and then I can assess how much they did and pay them accordingly.

    I don’t really want to pay them for things I ask the to do in the moment, other than projects. I want them to initiate the action and not wait to be told. That is how real employment work. You get told once and then you are expected to do it without being told.

    We’ll see how X’s proposal goes.


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