Archive for June, 2010

The toughest negotiation

June 22, 2010

The toughest negotation is the one you will have with yourself. Speaking for myself, I find that when I tell myself I that I may do something or that I should do something, I am usually playing some sort of game with myself.  Even when I say I will do something, if I don’t actually take action immediately, it really amounts to me not doing it. When I decide not to do something, however, I give myself a chance. Why?? Well, I am no longer playing  a game and all the  problems that are keeping me from doing something will start to arise in my mind. Those justifications may be valid, they may not be, but I can count on them to come to the forefront of my mind as I sit on my  ‘no’. This allows me to deal with the problems/’justifications for no’ if I can. When I do, I  get to a more solid standing from which to take action. I avoid putting the cart before the horse.

A ‘no’ may last only 5 minutes, but a bullshit ‘yes’ to action or worse, a ‘maybe’, will often take a lot longer. Even if it doesn’t, I am probably distracted while taking action by not having looked at the problems that the ‘no’ would have allowed me the time to.

Start With No


Are you ever not negotiating?

June 18, 2010


Think about it. We all spend our days trying to get what we want, from ourselves and others, and this requires us to negotiate with ourselves and others, all the time.  If you don’t think so, then I challenge you to give me an example in the comments section. Going to sleep – a negotiation?  Just because you usually negotiate it successfully doesn’t mean you don’t have to negotiate it every night. Ask new parents .

For more insight and achieving an edge as a negotiator, go here:

Start With No

or don’t.  That is actually what makes it a negotation, that you can say no. It is one of the foundations of human freedom – the right to say no.

Looking for a job

June 15, 2010

If you are, you are more likely to get one if you know how to negotiate. You have to be able to negotiate with the receptionist to even have a shot. Otherwise, your application sits  there among hundreds. Nothing replaces being able to get to the right person to talk to, and knowing how to talk to them with confidence and emotional control.

Check out what you can do about this:

Start With No

Feel free to email me

or call me  (401) 996-6198. If I don’t pick up and you leave a message, I will call you back.



Fear is the curse of the world?

June 14, 2010


Fear is the curse of the world. Many are our fears. Fear is everywhere. I must fight fear as I would the plague. I must turn it out of my life. There is no room for fear in the heart in which God dwells. Fear cannot exist where true love is or where faith abides. So I must have no fear. Fear is evil, but “perfect love casteth out all fear.” Fear destroys all hope and hope is necessary for all of humanity.

’24 hours a day’

The author sounds afraid of fear.  Is fear evil? I think the author is referring to hopelessness, not fear. There also is a time to give up hope in something that is a dead end. But it is very appealing, the notion that we can proceed without fear in life.  Fear embraced in love  and honored and respected and fully understood becomes wisdom.

I think the passage refers to the transformation, or resurrection,  of fear into wisdom. It  relates to  another saying that I recall, not sure the source:

Fear of God is the beginning of Wisdom.

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