Archive for July, 2010

Preventing Sexual Abuse

July 22, 2010

I came across the following strategy to prevent child molestation and sexual abuse from happening to children. I thought you might find it helpful. I think this is a good strategy and we are going to do this in our family.

Another point I found not listed in this strategy is not to tell our kids, “Don’t let anyone . . .” because if they are abused they may be reluctant to tell because they will feel like they are in trouble for *letting* it happen.

The wording: “Nobody is allowed to touch your private parts except to keep  you healthy and for cleaning.” Are recommended and you may want to discuss who would be people helping with those type of things.

If you are interested, you can read the full story on a Mom’s blog:

The Helping Hand

**Caution** This is about a sensitive topic—preventing child molestation and sexual abuse.

How can we attempt to prevent sexual abuse of children. Read on…. Convicted abusers were surveyed, and they by and large said this approach WOULD have prevented them from abusing the children they abused.

Sit down as a family. Have the child draw the outline of their hand on a piece of paper. Then, on each finger write the name of one trusted adult. Let them choose the people, with a bit of guidance from parents/guardians. This the their own personal “Helping Hand.” Put a phone number with each name, if the child is old enough to know how to make a phone call.

Tell the child that if anything happens that breaks the “Nobody is allowed…” rule (see earlier post), they should immediately tell TWO of the people on their helping hand. If nothing happens to stop the offenses, they should tell another and another until something happens.

Then, and THIS is the part that does the trick, tell EVERYONE you know that you have done this, and that you have a plan in place. Tell the 5 adults that they are on the child’s helping hand.

Perpetrators say that if they had known that such a plan was in place for their victims, they would not have abused at least that victim.

You might ask: How could they possibly know that there is a plan in place?

Answer: Because YOU JUST TOLD THEM. You announced the plan to all your family and friends, etc. Again, and this is no lie, 90-95% of all sexual abuse of children comes from family or people with CLOSE family ties. Tell EVERYONE about the plan. Announce it. Decorate the helping hands and post them on the wall so people will ask you about them. It’s so simple.


I don’t like Q

July 21, 2010

3yo Josie said this . She was holding a frig magnet of the letter Q.  ” I don’t like Q . ” She said she likes J, for Josie.

I said ” But I like Q.

are you sure you don’t like Q?”

Josie : “no! I like J.”

I felt like I was on Sesame Street.

Farts and flowers

July 21, 2010

Great conversation with my 3 yo while she was doing morning potty.

J: (Giggling) ” Dad, did you hear that?”

D: Ya, what was that?

J: It was gas. Just a little air.

D:  Wow

J: And Dad, I just love these flowers. (She points to the print on the toilet paper). They are beautiful and my favorite.

D: Wow (what else can I say?)

They brought their favorite stuffed animals today to day care, one of many ‘events’ that are held to keep that special feeling going. Josie has a little piggie and Clara Rose has Elmo. I saw one kid with a huge stuffed snake.

Gabrielle and Xavier were at Challenger soccer camp. It is run by Brits.  No rain today like they had yesterday. They busted their hump and now have sore feet. Fun to hear the kids imitate the Brits.

Example, to express displeasure about something , they call it “rubbish’

that’s like an American saying ‘crap’.

And when they like something , they say “brilliant”

which is like a yank saying , ‘Awesome’.

My birthday and other stuff

July 18, 2010

I am 43 today.  I am with my family now, all of ’em……just the way I like it. I am a very fortunate man. We are going to have swordfish and ice cream cake after a dip in the pool.  

I als0 had my 25th high school reunion last night. It really was a blast. Everyone is more fun and more interesting now, even moreso than than they were at the 20th.  Most of us were there for 6 hours and it felt like 6 minutes.

My older kids start soccer camp tomorrow. I insisted they do some conditioning last week so it won’t be a total chock to their system.

Acceptance my ass

July 17, 2010

Last post  ago I wrote about acceptance. Know what I realized, it is impossible to do if you don’t accept yourself and your own emotions first . I am one self-righteous mother fucker most of the time – completely unaccepting of all kinds of shit. I really love me and my opinions – so much that I usually can’t get out of my own way to just accept something as it is. So I’ll see where this goes – probably mostly nowhere but up my own ass.

Have a nice day.


July 16, 2010

All upsets relate to not accepting something that has happened, is happening, or is going to happen. What would it be like if we accepted everything… people, disasters, yucky stuff, etc… as it is? Just mind our own business, even if someone seems to be minding ours.

Example:   House burns down. Accept it. Get down to business that matters. As if it was fordained and I had already accepted it was going to happened and I already had started planning my next steps and couldn’t wait to get started.

Everyone would think I was  a freak, but I would accept that .

Free Audiobook Highly Recommended

Start and Stop at Will

July 2, 2010

Know how to do that?  If you don’t in some area of life, I bet you aren’t having fun.  A car without functioning brakes isn’t fun. A car that you can’t start up and drive off isn’t fun. There are even syndromes where women can’t stop themselves from having orgasms (Permanent Sexual Arousal Syndrome)  . Not fun according to what I’ve read.

When we can’t stop or start at will in some area, we are more likely to seek help .  Feels great when it works out.


What if someone tells you ‘no’ when you go to them for help or a little cooperation? HMMM- a new ‘start and stop at will’ problem.   

    What then?

Try this:          Start With No    Free stuff there.

Fortunately, Diddly is always fun.

You can always start and stop at will here 🙂

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