Do you have a correct definition of the feeling of anger?

It is natural that we all can say we know what the feeling of anger is. After all, we all experience it.

Dr. Carl Semmelroth states that

the feeling of anger is your awareness of your preparation to attack someone to punish or control them.

These preparations are happening all the time inside us and everyone else. And we are regularly the targets of these efforts to control and punish. What a state of affairs? No wonder so many of worry a lot or respond with our own anger. Perfectly understandable. 

Why are we like this? It has to do with the simple requirement of life that we solve problems, especially problems of interference by others in us getting what we want. Anger is a handy way to start trying to solve the interference problems we all face. It is so handy that we get very comfortable reaching for it. We turn into one-trick ponies. We also become ineffective. This makes us angrier, and we’re off into a web woven by ourselves with plenty of cooperation from others in the same predicament.  

So what are other ways to solve interference problems? Pondering the asnwer to that question is the beginning of the solution to the anger predicament. My experience , though, has been that I don’t get around to asking those kinds of questions that give me access to other solutions until I have already gotten angry. I don’t even notice I am angry, mostly because it feels so normal to be angry that to not be angry feels inauthentic – to not be angry is to not really be me. It comes down to my identity, and who I really am.

So somehow I think we need to separate the feeling from anger from our identity. How?  Maybe by just reminding ourselves that when we feel angry, we can  stop and invite ourselves to discover other ways to be determined and effective in solving interference problems. We have to find other ways that do not  give us a sense that we have compromised ourselves by not expressing our anger.


4 Responses to “Do you have a correct definition of the feeling of anger?”

  1. achilleshealing Says:

    The Five Reiki Principles

    Just for today I will not anger.

    Just for today I will not worry.

    Just for today I will be grateful.

    Just for today I will do my work honestly.

    Just for today I will be kind to every living thing.


    Anger stems from frustration, I think, at an inability to reach a solution. However, it can also be addictive, because it feels like it gives us power to attack and control the things that are causing us frustration. If we took a step back and just decided not to become attached to our ideas; to listen to what others had to say; to understand why the situation is occurring; and relaxed, realising that it really is not the end of the world…we would probably reach a better solution faster, without upsetting ourselves or others. Without harming out bodies.


  2. diddly Says:

    Thanks for the comment achillehealing. I find that can’t relinquish my stubborness, it is part of who I am, I just want to try to detach it from anger and selfishness.

    I think you offer a clue on how to do that which didn’t occur to me until I read your post. Your last line ‘ without harming our bodies’ points to the importance in being uncompromising in one’s refusal to indulge in compulsive efforts to control the uncontrollable. How does this effort to control feel in my body? Lot of wisdom in the body.


  3. calamity4e Says:

    Just for today I will not care if my kids use their hands while playing soccer in the backyard.



  4. mirena recall Says:

    When someone writes an post he/she maintains the idea of a user in his/her brain that how a user can understand it.
    So that’s why this paragraph is perfect. Thanks!


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