What is the real purpose of negotiation? Having a succinct and accurate answer is crucial to your success in almost any endeavor.


We negotiate to clarify pain and reach agreement on the resolution of that pain. (Jim Camp)

I can’t really think of any other reason to negotiate.

So pain questions are key. I think these questions below would fit most situations with some simple tweaking of the wording:  

What hurts?

How much does it hurt?

When does it hurt?

When does it hurt the most?

Who also hurts?

Who makes it hurt?

Where does it hurt?

How long does it hurt?

Not all at once, of course! In fact,  even a little the emphasis on pain when talking to someone may seem like a real downer. Yet when it is your pain,  aren’t you very interested in ways to alleviate it? So why wouldn’t someone else ?

Lowering the level of emotional arousal of the person you are asking these questions helps them to answer them more accurately –  talking about pain while soothing the person in pain so they don’t shut down – it is an art that can be mastered. Not a cakewalk, for sure.

Who teaches this stuff?

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4 Responses to “What is the real purpose of negotiation? Having a succinct and accurate answer is crucial to your success in almost any endeavor.”

  1. Sylvan Beierl Says:

    David sent me here for this post, and like him, I am delighted with your blog, have begun rambling through the archives, and expect to check in regularly. I’m grateful that you’ve come into his life at the right moment, and especially for the gift of our meeting last week.

    Like

  2. elektrischer milchaufschäumer edelstahl Says:

    F*ckin’ tremendous things here. I’m very glad to see your article.

    Thanks a lot and i am looking forward to contact you.
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    Like

  3. diddly Says:

    I am at wchase5@yahoo.com

    I tried your email but it got bounced back to me.

    Like

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