The performance delusion – reflections on boo

How are you performing?  You would naturally want to know what the venue is before answering . Am I talking about ballet or a concert, or some sport. or an academic test? We don’t use the word performance unless an activity has a certain status..  But we are often guilty of being the most horrible of spectators to ordinary human actions.

Take me for example. This morning my 5 yo Josie had something she was playing with, and my 4 yo Clara Rose wanted to play with it too. She started angling for it. Josie wasn’t ready to give it up, and she smacked Clara Rose who started to cry. I got upset.  I sent Josie to her room for hitting, and I interrogated Clara Rose to make sure she knew that I knew that her performance wasn’t good either – she had been impatient and grabby. I was harsh to both of them.

So what am I doing? These two girls encounter a problem related to sharing and negotiating, and they have a hard time, and I freak out.        BOOOOOO! BAD JOB!

And later on, I began to harp on my performance as a Dad. I suck. BOOOOOOO!

It seems so silly to write about it, but I do it and others do it all the time. Examples:  

You didn’t clean the garage. BOOOOOOOO!

You criticized me about not cleaning the garage. BOOOOOOO!

You used a tone of voice I find displeasing.  BOOOOO!

Maybe if I boo my loved ones like I would Manny Ramirez when he was dogging it in Boston, they would perform better. Maybe not idiot! BOOOOOOO!


People booo each other all the time without literally saying boo.  

I can’t  imagine myself saying to a displeased spouse or child of mine:  Are you booing me? ,  but that is what they are doing, booing,  and that is what I frequently do to them. 


Hard to stop  – I am a compulsive booo- er.

Ease up boo-er

( I expanded here on an idea I read in a book by Carl Semmelroth called The Anger Habit Workbook)


One Response to “The performance delusion – reflections on boo”

  1. Bill Says:

    That is so me. I’m tired of being angry at others actions that I have no business trying to control. This situation leads me right to the Serenity Prayer. Falls into the category of (Me) knowing better. Boo Me. HaHa!


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