Archive for May, 2012

If this is so great, then why aren’t you rich? We are rich, next question please.

May 27, 2012

If you truly master the art and science of negotiation, you will get full price if you have something of value to offer. If you don’t have something of value to offer, you may be in the wrong business so you still need to be able negotiate your way to something else. Even when you have something of value to offer and you don’t want money, just to be heard, that doesn’t often work out so well either. If you are doing ok and wonder what the fuss is all about  – there is no fuss and the fact that you think so points to……you. But it points even more to me if I am failing to convey a sincere interest in your world and your benefit. How could you know I am sincere? You can’t.  One way to find out, contact me… and yet I promote  a negotiation system that claims that  safest decision for you to make is no. What happens after you say , “No, I am not going to contact this guy. ” ? You will justify your decision. And if any of the problems that keep you reading remain, you will certainly make more decisions to solve them or cope with them. Your intellect will accept or reject those decisions based on results. And if those results do not satisfy you, today, tomorrow, in several months or even years … maybe YOU WILL REMEMBER ME! 🙂 I will be here, inviting you again,  to be in touch with me and let me help you investigate this negotiation ‘thing’  and see if it fits for you.

All the best,

Wim Chase        Academic Coach at the Camp Negotiation Institute



Everything you say here will be in my dreams

May 26, 2012

5 yo Josie said this while trying to keep up conversationally with her 16 yo sister Gabrielle and 14 yo brother Xavier at the dinner table the other night.

I think she outdid herself.

The surprised silence from my clever teenagers….


DSM5’s buried but very real threat to psychotherapy

May 24, 2012

To  therapists anyone concerned with it,

 A colleague of mine recently had a paper accepted by Journal of Clinical Psychiatry with some interesting information on the PHQ-9.  I copied the abstract below, but here are some of the highlights.  When comparing the depression severity ranges between the PHQ-9, QIDS, CUDOS, and HAM-D in a sample of 245 outpatients who had been diagnosed with MDD, he found that the majority scored in the moderate range on the CUDOS and HAM-D whereas a majority scored as severe based on the PHQ-9 and QIDS.  The PHQ-9 also had significantly more patients scoring in the severely depressed range compared to the QIDS.  Among patients rated as mildly depressed on the HAM-D, one quarter scored in the severely depressed range on the QIDS, and one third scored in the severely depressed range on the PHQ-9.

Until I had read my colleague’s paper, I was not aware that the DSM-5 Depressive Disorders Workgroup is recommending using the PHQ-9 as a preferred measure.  In light of my colleague’s findings, I wondered if perhaps there might be some unintended consequences to using the PHQ-9 with respect to treatment recommendations.  As noted in my colleague’s paper, NICE guidelines recommend psychotherapy as a first-line treatment for mild depression, and pharmacotherapy with psychotherapy is recommended for moderate and severe depression.  If a greater proportion of patients would be classified as severely depressed based on the PHQ-9 compared to other measures, I wonder if this could have consequences for psychotherapy being less likely to be recommended as a treatment option? Do others have thoughts on this? Please comment on this on the DSM 5 website.

 Zimmerman, M., Martinez, J., Friedman, M., Boerescu, D.A., Attiullah, N., Toba, C. (in press).  How Can We Use Depression Severity to Guide Treatment Selection When Measures of Depression Categorize Patients Differently?  Journal of Clinical Psychiatry

 Objective: Treatment guidelines for depression suggest that severity should be taken into account when initiating treatment. If clinicians are to consider illness severity in selecting among treatment options for depression then it is important to have reliable, valid, and clinically useful methods of distinguishing between levels of depression severity. In the present report from the Rhode Island Methods to Improve Diagnostic Assessment and Services (MIDAS) project we compared three self-report scales assessing the DSM-IV criteria for major depression in the distribution of patients into severity categories.

 Methods: Two hundred forty-five depressed outpatients completed the Clinically Useful Depression Outcome Scale (CUDOS), Quick Inventory of Depressive Symptomatology (QIDS), and Patient Health Questionnaire (PHQ-9). The patients were subdivided into severity categories according to the cutoff scores recommended by each scales’ developers. The patients were also rated on the 17-item Hamilton Depression Rating Scale (HAMD).

 Results:  The correlations between the HAMD and the 3 self-report scales were nearly identical. Yet, the scales significantly differed in their distribution of patients into severity categories. On the CUDOS and HAMD moderate depression was the most frequent severity category, whereas on the PHQ-9 and QIDS the majority of the patients were classified as severe. Significantly fewer patients were classified severely depressed on the CUDOS compared to the PHQ-9 (p<.001) and QIDS (p<.001).

 Discussion: If clinicians are to follow treatment guidelines’ recommendations to base initial treatment selection on the severity of depression, then it is important to have a consistent method of determining depression severity. The marked disparity between standardized scales in the classification of depressed outpatients into severity groups indicates that there is a problem with the use of such instruments to classify depression severity. Caution is warranted in the use of these scales to guide treatment selection until the thresholds to define severity ranges have been empirically established.





Maybe gay marraige will more fully reveal God’s intentions for homosexuals than anything ever has in history. (Ephesians 5:3-14)

May 14, 2012

I think that the proper Christian response to the question of gay marriage can be found in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, 5: 3-14.

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater —has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.[a] Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them.

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10 and find out what pleases the Lord. 11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12 It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13 But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.

For the sake of argument, let’s not assume that we know anything about what sexual immorality is or isn’t. Actually, in verse  9-10, Paul guides us to avoid assumptions. He writes: 

    Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10 and find   out what pleases the Lord.

To me this means that we ought to do the best we can to live as children of light, being good, and keep our mind open to find out what pleases the Lord. In other words, there is more to learn about being good, and we ought to try to find out what that is. So how do we do that? Paul gives us instructions:

 Don’t have anything to do with bad deeds, but let them be exposed.  11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.

To me this means not to react – do nothing in support or against the ‘fruitless deeds”.  Also, it does not say to avoid the person who does the deeds, just the deeds. Also, he says …7do not be partners with them. I am not sure what is meant by partners, but at the very least it means heterosexuals should not get into a sexual relationship with someone who likes the same sex.

Then Paul says:

         12 It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret.

So don’t talk  about what they do. Mind your business. Pretty straightforward. Interesting because Paul instructs us to avoid people who want to talk about these deeds but not the people who do them, with the caveat that you should not become their partner ( again – meaning unclear how broad a definition is implied here).

           Expose the deeds.

  Let it out into the light and it will become light.

   14 But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.      

          So doesn’t legalizing gay marriage do this – expose their deeds? It takes it out of the darkness, and into the light. Might gay marriage take excuses away from gay people who have lived a certain reckless lifestyle and claim that they have no choice?  What about the lies that gays tell themselves and heterosexual people they marry and have children with , often resulting in divorce? Who knows what will happen if we get out of the way and let their deeds be exposed via legal marital contracts?

We are not supposed to pretend to know ahead of time, because we are still …find(ing) out what pleases the Lord.

6 Let no one deceive you with empty words…

There  is a lot of talk on both sides of this issue. At least from the Christian side, I think we should look past the talk and just let this into the open light and be exposed. Talk is part of the darkening process.

Let gay adults form marital contracts with each other. Let them into the light. Leave the rest up to God.  

I think the bible backs me up, even if it does call homosexuality an abomination in Leviticus. As it was practiced then, it may very well have been an abomination. But what will bringing it into the light reveal?

Will you suspend judgement to put yourself in a position to find out? A greedy person insists on having the answers prior to due diligence.


Turn the other cheek means not to compromise on what is important

May 13, 2012

I believe that a great misunderstanding of Jesus’  words involves the notion that he meant to give in. If someone strikes you, and in this day and age that usually happens in  figurative sense, they are trying to get you to do something. Jesus understood that, and I think he is really saying not to give in to a show of force. He wants you to do what you believe is right. He also forces the question  are you really in danger? So often we are not. We often could handle more pain and we should try if that is what it takes to do the right thing. If you can’t handle it, and turning the other cheek means you will be less equipped to do the right thing, then don’t turn the other cheek.

The bigger question is – what is the right thing? It isn’t always easy to know, but we are expected to do our very best.

The bar has been raised.

I want you to know some stuff I wish I knew about asking out girls back in the day

May 11, 2012

You have to ask girls out if you want one to go out with you. I don’t just mean this in the way that people say that you can’t win if you don’t play like people talk about the lottery.

I mean that if it becomes general knowledge among girls in your cohort that when you like a girl you are going to let her know it and gracefully accept her answer, it does a couple of things for you. Number one, girls will not be able to just say that you are eventually going to ask them out. In other words, they now know that when you like a girl you make a move . You have the balls to do it. If they want your attention, they will realize that they are going to have to seek it, since they now know that if you are not seeking theirs. it isn’t because you are afraid, it is because you are not interested enough yet. In other words, you just became a challenge.  Second, the girl who said no to you, assuming she said no, is going to have to justify her answer in her mind and to other girls. Assuming there is more to you than meets the eye, you are going to get second looks from her and other girls who didn’t even have you on their radar before.

And getting on girls radar for the right reasons is everything. The girl who said no to you, assuming you don’t chase her and get creepy, will think of you fondly because she got an ego boost from you. Girls like to know  people are interested, even when they are not.

If  I am wrong on any of this, please let me know, especially any female readers out there.

I hope I can share this with my son so he can avoid beig the foolish coward Iwas.

“When did you become such a fun-guy?” deflating a bully

May 11, 2012

One of the best ways to disrupt bullying and teasing is to ask a question that invites the other party to try to make sense. Since teasing is just a way for them to get off, they are not going to make much sense, trust me.    I recommend questions that expose that immature selfish motive.     The most important thing is to keep them talking and trying to explain themselves. When they get confused, and they will, help them out by just being kind and letting them know that they don’t have to answer right now -maybe some other time after they have given it some thought. Don’t turn into the dick that they were being. It can be tempting though 🙂

Here are some questions to get them talking. You may only have to ask one of them. The less you talk the better. Let them squirm until you feel it is appropriate to help them have a soft landing as they are spinning around in a disoriented state since you killed their buzz

I’d like to ask you a question, ok?

If no, then sayYou must have better things to do than deal with me. See ya. “

If yes, then ask:

How fun is this for you?

If they try to deny that this is about having fun – then ask this:

What makes it important to you to do this then? “

Who does it benefit?”

Who will suffer if you stop?

If they say it is fun, ask them this:

When did you become such a fun loving guy?

What do you really like about it?

What else do you like about it?

What would make it more fun?

if they answer “I don’t know” or ‘maybe’ at any time – you got ’em – they have lost their way.

The best way to create change

May 9, 2012

The best way to create change, I have found, is to convince myself that my life will never get better unless I make a specific change in behavior.

Penelope Trunk

Notice she does not set goals in the traditional sense.

The One Single Weakest Fundamental in Human Behavior

May 9, 2012

 I have concluded the one single weakest fundamental in human behavior is the mistake of thinking we are logical and smart creatures. In fact we are emotional and confused much of the time. It is only with the ability to create clarity of vision do we have a chance to impact the world in a positive way.

Jim Camp

Otherwise know as vanity.

Do you belong to the power system?

May 8, 2012

Power situtations can only exist where there is a contract, arrived at voluntarily or otherwise , in which people will do things or else things will be made difficult for them. …When there is no such contract – where one party can do without the other one  – NO POWER SITUATION CAN EXIST. Neither can it be deemed to exist. But, faces with a situation in which there is no power ingredient, people CONTINUE TO BEHAVE AS IF THEYCAN COERCE OR BE COERCED.

In doing this,  they give themselves away. To any observer who is aware of the power phenomenon, they clearly show that they belong to the power system and want to operate it.

Since the receipt and exercising of power is imagined to be connected with forceful behavior, people cannot any longer identify a power situation.

They generally become furiously angry when this is pointed out to them.

Idries Shah  Knowing How to Know

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