Nearly everyone has a problem with self-importance and this is how we get that way

More from Carl Smmelroth’s Anger Habit Workbook:

From birth most of us are surrounded by a multitude of things that we didn’t earn and didn’t arrange – the air we breathe, the car we are given, the food made available to us, the concern of others about us. It is very difficult to understand why. So we are apt to assume it because we deserve people’s concern and attention. We deserve everything we get just because we exist, because we are who and what we are. We don’t easily see that what we receive is given to us as a gift. Instead of an attitude of gratitude for what we get from others, we are apt to develop an attitude of entitlement.

This phenomenon has a lot to do with why we prefer learning about leadership over negotiation. We love to appoint ourselves as leaders, but seeing ourselves as negotiators strips us of any sense of privilege. The false sense of security that self-importance gives us is hard to relinquish. Very hard.  It actually is ultimately very freeing, but initially scary to decide to put effort into mastering negotiation

And naturally, it helps you earn your way to leadership.

Wim Chase  LICSW  

 Academic Coach


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