The Problem with Self-Help


I have been a consumer of self-help books for a long time, but several years ago something made me wander over to the business section where I discovered Jim Camp’s book: No: The Only Negotiation System You Need for Work and Home.  It may seem like a small thing, my choice to wander, but I think it merits some attention.

You see, I was like a lot of people. I loved the idea of being able to go alone – to be self-made. It just felt so right, beginning and ending with me, so comfortable. But what was really going on? I think I was afraid that if I asked someone for help that they would tell me no or try to help me in their way, not necessarily how I wanted them to help me. I don’t think I am alone with this fear. I think it drives people to the self-help authors and gurus. They keep raking in the bucks.

Do you remember that show from the 70’s, Laverne and Shirley? It had a character named Lenny. In one episode, Lenny got this jacket that really boosted his self-esteem. He told everybody that it said “Lone Wolf” on the back. I think he was trying to be like James Dean or something, a rebel against the world. But it actually said “One Wolf”. So everyone had a lot of fun with Lenny, and the more he tried to be the Lone Wolf without letting anyone help him, the sillier he looked.

Aren’t you glad that you and I NEVER act this way? 

So I think I was channeling my inner Lenny the day that I wandered from self-help section to the business section. I was thinking I was the Lone Wolf, but I suspected that I was missing something, like he was missing the letter ‘L’.

Wandering alone and hoping for answers makes sense when you’re lost. Self-help will hand you a map. It may work, but it also may be the wrong map for that territory. You will still be alone. CNI will not send you off on your own. They will go with you for as long as you want them too. They have maps, the best around, but they will teach you to negotiate your way when maps aren’t readily available, and you will be in the very best position to consistently make progress that you have ever been in. 

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