Work first on getting yourself to see clients’ worlds their way, not getting them to see your widgets or valuable services your way

When someone tells you no or rejects something you are offering or saying, or refuses a request you make, all it means is that they have not SEEN something.  They have NOT seen how what you bring will benefit them in the world THEY see themselves in. If you have a way to help them see it benefiting them in the world they see, you will have a chance to reverse their no. 

So your job is to discover how they see their world, not to show them what you have or want.  They may refuse to disclose how they see their world, but generally, if you are genuinely interested, and ask well worded questions, you can learn a lot. Once you have a complete enough vision of their world, you can decide to show your stuff or not. Otherwise, you are rolling the dice. 

So we offer nothing to start. We ask to see. 


Below is a script for a conversation I am planning to have tomorrow. Do you think it will help me see how they see their world? 

I‘d like to talk some with you and if you think that Karen would not have any interest in having a conversation with me, just tell me so and we can just end the phone call. If it sounds like it will interest her, then we can go from there. that sou nd ok> So you’ll tell me no if it just does not seem like anything I am interested in? ok. 

Who would kno

What challenges are you facing in expanding your reach to families? 

How do you promote the book? 

(Small bets.  Steve Jobs. Pixar) 


How much are people willing to spend on their kids to give them the best in life? to save their marraige?

What stops people from seeing that Pat’s approach to family health is the very best? 

What about innovating approaches to getting Pat’s message out there? Who is involved in the creative conversations about how to reach more people who can afford your services? 


I just don’t know. I don’t see how what I can do can help you . I don’t know anything about the challenges you face. 


I am famlly therapist who has gotten sales negotiation training and experience.But it doesn’t really matter if this is not an area yuou want to grow in. 


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