Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category
Next time you hear about a conspiracy from someone, you can ‘outclever’ them by pointing out that you know all their talk is just a cover for the real conspiracy they are hatching.
They can’t fool you 😉
Someone you are dealing with might be in pain. They may feel it. You may see that pain very clearly. But amazingly, they may not see it even though they are the ones going through it. This is often referred to as ‘denial’ by amateur and professional psychotherapists alike. Not seeing their problem and pain makes it hard for many of us to take constructive action. So what is the difference between experiencing pain and seeing it?
Maybe this analogy will help. A baby feels uncomfortable with a messy diaper. This does not stop them from messing in their diaper. They don’t even fuss right away about the discomfort often and let their parent know. But even a week or two after they are toilet trained, they see much more clearly the discomfort/pain of having a messy diaper. How does this change happen?
Take a look at how parents toilet train their kids. We turn toilet training into an instructive game. We sit them down on the toilet. Sometimes something happens, and when it does, we are very happy. They see it, and they are happy. They see us becoming more and more unhappy when they don’t use the toilet since we now know that they can go on their own. But they don’t see the problem with going in thier diaper quite yet. After awhile, going on the toilet becomes a habit. It feels weird not to do it on the toilet after awhile. Eventually, they become toilet trained. Then one day when they have an accident, they see how CRAZY it is to mess in your pants. We have to make a lot of effort to help them get to this point.
If you have someone who is headed for pain, or is even in pain, and you want them to just see what you see and be logical and fix it, then you are about as silly looking as a parent who wants their toddler to spontaneously toilet train.
Invite them to sit on whatever proverbial toilet is in play and see what happens. Make it part of a regular pattern. Have fun with it and them. If they refuse, don’t be angry. They are just being a baby. Just let them know they may have to find someone else to change their proverbial diaper if the won’t play the game with you.
If you ‘can’t’ stop rescuing them from their problem and pain, and you are unhappy with it, then complain. Maybe someone will listen and know how to help you.
Not all kids are easy to toilet train, for sure, but you at least want to make sure the problem is not you.
Telling the truth can be dangerous. You could get in trouble. Better be worth it. Might as well make it fun or you’ll just come across as a bore.
To consciously impact the quality of decisions and agreements of everyone I interact with so as to optimize their personal and professional health and growth thoughout their life and beyond. I do this by daily implementing superior methods of preparation, management and execution of all my activity and behavior.
So who wants to ‘interact’ with me now? 🙂
Working in mental health, I have worked with my share of ‘cutters’, folks who cut themselves with sharp objects until they bleed. It is part of a serious psychiatric condition.
Well, my daughters ( 5 and 6 years old) do the opposite – they are band-aid er’s. At the slightest sign of discomfort, they ask for a band-aid. Of course, they start mutilating their band-aids until they need a new one in 5 minutes.
This winter they have been getting dry skin, so they ask for all kinds of lotion and ointment to avoid the slightest anomaly on their skin. It is a competition almost – who is the driest? And they also love to use saline spray for their nose.
I hope their fussiness over the intergity of their skin carries over into an aversion to getting tatoos when they get older.
Something bad happens to you, very bad, and you start to see things in a negative light. Then you start to think that since this bad thing happened to you, you have had your fair share of ‘bad’, and you become intolerant of other bad things happening to you. You can’t let things slide. You even seem snobby to people because you seem to think that everything is supposed to go your way and if it doesn’t, you get snippy and make everyone feel tense. You seem controlling to others. You might stop taking risks because you don’t want to get upset if something goes bad. So you get soft and weak because you are not challenging yourself – emotional atrophy. And this is how your life just keeps sucking.
You’ve become a shadow of yourself.
Yesterday, Josie (6 yo) and Clara Rose (4 yo) came to me and claimed that the other had wronged them. They were both mad. They wanted me to resolve it. I have posted about similar situations. This time, I told them to stand about 5 feet away from each other facing each other and to work it out. Five feet keeps them out of hitting range, and I had them hand me any projectiles they might throw at each other. Safety first. They were dumbstruck for about 5 seconds and then they started giggling. Problem solved, or at least forgotten. They resumed playing.
Was this a negotiation? By definition, a negotiation is two or more parties making an effort to reach an agreement, each having the right to veto. They certainly had a disagreement about how to handle a situation. They wanted me to agree with one of them and impose a solution. Without saying it directly I effectively told them no. I have fallen for this trap in the past. It always leaves one or both of them feeling like they got the short end of the stick. I didn’t even want to know the details, and I wasn’t going to impose anything. They now had to reach an agreement on their own or walk away from each other. They may not have agreed as to who was at fault in the situation, but they agreed to go play again even though not a word was spoken between them, just giggles.
Go here to see these giggling little girls
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