Archive for the ‘MIssion and Purpose’ Category

Reality owes us nothing because it has already given us everything

May 6, 2016

If I could become the best in the world at anything, it would be learning. Imagine what would be possible if you could learn to be a better learner.

So what is the basis of learning?

In The Dermis Probe, Idries Shah quotes Khamlat Posh who is responding to someone asking about discipleship.

Desire to learn is not the basis for learning, but sincerity is. The basis of sincerity is straightforwardness and a liking for balance.

I have always thought of sincerity as being intimately connected to desire. Asking myself what I want and why I want it has seemed to me to be the pathway to sincerity.

Example:

“Do I really want to talk to this person, or am I telling myself I do because what I really want is not to hurt their feelings?”

“Do  I really want to learn or do I really just want to find a way to be rich?”

So being straightforward with yourself about your desires begins to reveal the limit of desire. Desire is always selfish when it comes down to it.

Being straightforward actually works against a lot of desires. It can shatter social standing. It can cost you money. No one ‘wants’ to be straightforward. One hopes one can be straightforward, and that doing so won’t be so distabilizing as to shake one out of balance.

The Truth or Reality exist regardless of our desire to know it. It does not require us to add anything to it, like our desire for It. It is there to be experienced by people who are balanced enough to do so.  But we can’t force It.

Reality owes us nothing because It has already given us everything.

We owe It everything, yet It refuses payment.

We can only choose to resonate as best we can with It’s Gift.

Learn gratitude.  Learn straightforwardness. Learn to know and like balance. Learn sincerity.

Let them teach you.

.

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The Hidden Obstacle to our Honor

February 19, 2014

Think about the last time someone told you ‘no’ – personal or business. It could have been in response to anything you have asked for that you cared about – assistance, understanding, some kind attention, or even a discount – reasonable requests in your mind.
But the answer was ‘no’.
If you took the time to even bother to relect on your last serious’no’ from someone, it is probably not a pleasant memory – might even upset you now to think about it. Were you angry or irritated or did you feel sad or even ashamed?
If you accepted the no, and went along with it, you probably felt hurt, sad or weak.
If you did not accept it, you probably felt angry and showed it, maybe bullied or tantrumed, or even lied to get your way.
Whichever way we go, hearing ‘no’ tends to put most of us in quite a bind emotionally.
I have observed that most of us go to great lengths to avoid hearing ‘no’ and these feelings. We hate the bind. We feel shame about being stuck in it. We agree that others should be ashamed when they are in the same bind. Rather than simply hear no and work with it, we compromise quickly and/or manipulate instead, rushing ourselves or others to doomed agreements. We can’t see ‘no’ as simply a decision. We won’t see the effort to continue to seek agreement as honorable activity in and of itself, even if agreement is not reached. We rush to the agreement so we can get out of the shameful shadow of no. We also don’t want to shame others, so we avoid telling them no even when great harm is going to be the likely result.
I see his as a weakness in our culture that adds to unnecessary human suffering at all levels. Past cultural practices that were clearly immoral such as the enslavement of people of African descent and dueling with pistols were rooted in taking away people’s right and responsibility to hear and say no and negotiate for what they wanted. See Kwame Anthony Appiah’s excellent treatment of these topics in his book, The Honor Code: How Moral Revolutions Happen. http://www.appiah.net . Our great reluctance to engage with ‘no’ in our interactions makes us susceptible to exploitation by others and to be exploitive ourselves. The freedom to disagree and make efforts to reach agreements in our own way is essential to the dignity and sustainable progress of human beings. Failure to exercise that freedom leads to the disintegration of social cooperation at all levels. Our fear of interacting with each other in more authentic ways prevents us from better exposing the elements of our shared problems that are simply not solvable in isolation from each other. It creates a paranoid culture whose members suffer from a constantly nagging sense of danger and worry that they are not doing enough to protect themselves.
This entire situation is fortified by an honor code that dictates that putting yourself in a position where you are told no is tantamount to a sort of social death. We either stubbornly ‘go it alone’ or ‘go along’ full of resentment.

But there is an alternative. We can learn to relate to being told no, or saying no, differently. We can see it instead as an opportunity to negotiate. Careful study of negotiation reveals its definitions, principles, and rules. Negotiation has not been given proper respect by highly esteemed academics to the point where they have even tried to change its definition to put it in sync with the curiously destructive honor system that has developed around being told no. The folks at Camp have made available to us a knowledge base and opportunity for learning that can elevate our encounters with no to a more evolved level of human interaction. Respect, honesty and transparency can become the order of the day. Since only stable, ethical, and profitable agreements can provide the necessary foundation for a better society and world, we have a moral obligation to elevate negotiation, our response to no, to a place of honor in our collective psyche.

The real dishonor is not in being told no or in saying no. The real dishonor is in not rising to the challenge that being told ‘no’ presents by responding with our best effort to seek agreement. Any effort to negotiate that is respectful ought to be celebrated by our society. We should praise each other and especially our children for such effort. Quick and shoddy agreements that are rushed into out of a fear of hearing no should be sources of shame and embarrassment.
Instead these shoddy agreements are celebrated. We refer to these hurried compromises as the unavoidable costs of doing business, or of being married, or of being parents, or of being in politics. We call each other ‘practical’ and ‘tough’. No way. These are costs of being lazy, cowardly, unimaginative and stale. We can do better. We must, or we risk being looked back on with shame by future generations. Time to restore honor to our interactions.

Foolproof Family Initiative – App promotional offer

October 29, 2013

“You will never know what you have done for the family. The system changed our lives.” Bob I Am Personally 

Going To Coach 20 families!

Founder and CEO at Negotiator-Pro, #1 Negotiation Training and Execution Platform

Ever since I wrote “Start With No” I have received thank you notes and calls from parents who have given the book to their children in high school and college.. I have been pleased the young have attained so much success with the system. But, I just didn’t see the unexpected success. Drucker taught in his book “Innovation and Entrepreneurship” to pay attention to the unexpected success but I didn’t and then Friday night the light came on.

I went to a gathering of friends high school 50 years ago. One of my greatest friends came up to me, and said he had to talk to me alone. He said, “you gave me a copy of your book “Start With No” ten years ago and I read it and was dazzled. But now I can’t thank you enough. You saved my daughters family. About a year ago she called in tears. Her husband was threatening divorce, the kids where failing in school, her life was coming apart. I listened and my heart was aching. The more she talked the more pain I felt. I struggled and the only thought I had that I could come up with to help her, I swear Jimmy this is the truth, was to tell her to read your book. I made her promise to read it and to call me back after she did. Well she read your book. She gave a copy to her husband and to my grandson and granddaughter in high school. Now they sit down and build plans based on what you teach in the book. She called me to tell me that their family life has completely turned around. They have a whole new lease on life and they know where the family is going because of your book.“ 

I was humbled to say the least. Then as I was driving home last night, bingo it hit me. I overlooked all my IP. You see I built within Negotiator-Pro a library. I call it the deep dive library. Over the last 28 years I have written, recorded and worked to provide the materials that will help you master our system. I want every Negotiator-Pro user to have free access to those materials. Everything in there is downloadable. Every recording I have ever made is in there discussing every rule, principle, and aspect of our system. Each recording is broken down into bites, 15 to 35 minutes. Plain talk, easy to listen to, and more important easily applied. Also in the library is every written work I have done. Both books are there, as well as every mastery lesson with exercises and out side reading lists to provide even more support. There are more than 2000 pages of my work in PDF download format. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before. You can download all of it for free and give it to your loved ones.

I want you to enroll in Negotiator-Pro. I want you to send me an email personally and tell me you want to take me up on this effort for the ones you love. 

OK Camp, how much will this cost me? Well, how about we make the price be the same as one large cappuccino coffee at your favorite coffee shop per day for the whole family? I want to say that again. One large cappuccino per day pays the whole bill for the entire family. Cash flow by the month important, you can empower the entire family for $98 a month on a credit card or you can save $200 and pay $950 for a one year license. To enroll, just reach out to me and drop me an email. jcamp@negotiator-pro.com.

Also, for the first 20 families that enroll “I will personally coach you and the family free for a month” in how to use the materials to build a great thought process and mindset. If this is for you and your family just let me know at jcamp@negotiatior-pro.com or call me on my private line 614 764 0213 and I will get you going.

All the best

Jim Camp

A new stress reducing App that makes both thrill and calm possible in the toughest business and personal situations you face

September 12, 2013

 

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Both unmanaged and managed packages can be Native Apps. These apps are built and run entirely on the Force.com Platform, providing benefits such as consolidated reporting capabilities through Salesforce.
  • Name: Negotiator-Pro
  • Version: May 2013 / 1.1.0
  • Type: Managed Package
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5 1/2 takeaway lessons from studying negotiation

June 21, 2013

  1. I am always a decision away from getting back on track, no matter how bleak it feels.
  2. Decisions are 100 % emotional until the decision is reached, and my emotion will only calm down enough to see more clearly if the decision was right or wrong after I make the decision. That’s life – no way out of having to jump in the water if you want  to swim.
  3. Jim Camp’s  system is based on mission and purpose which is always  designed to benefit the adversary, not me. Trying to master this system has really caused me to be confronted with my own selfishness and laziness in all its guises.  I require a system like Jim’s to overcome this problem.  left to myself – I am all about myself, sadly – a pathetic but true takeaway lesson.
  4. The first 5 minutes of doing preparation for a negotiation sucks, like the first 5 minutes of  exercise  sucks, but it pays off. It is like I am stiff and rigid in my focus on myself – and I have to stretch my stubborn mental muscles to get into the adversary’s world.
  5. Journaling regularly about my ups and downs, and asking for help when necessary without neglecting to do what I can do for myself first, are critical to my success as a starting negotiation coach and negotiator.

 

5½    This is the hardest thing I have ever chosen to learn how to do by far.

Proof of the transferability of correct mindset to success across disparate human performance efforts

June 14, 2013

 I looked up the word ‘mindset’ in the dictionary and it is defined as a mental attitude or inclination. I like the word ‘ inclination’. It has its roots in the word ‘incline’ which has a visual and tactile feel for me. Momentum in negotiation comes from the incline which we who are schooled in the Camp system set up so that benefit can flow toward the adversary – ever tilting one’s activity and behavior to the benefit of the adversary. Maybe it starts as a trickle, but it can keep coming and growing because we have correctly set the incline of our mind. Our neediness, born of habit, is the shakiness that upsets our correct setting of the incline, and we desperately try to lap up a few trickles for ourselves, rendering ourselves useless while we do it. But fortunately we are always a decision away from correctly resetting our incline. I went to a basketball camp as a kid and was lucky enough to hear Larry Bird talked to us about passing. Some of you may recall that he was a tremendous passer. He said to us it is always a mistake on YOUR part if your teammate doesn’t catch a pass you threw. Catching a pass is a skill too, of course, but his point was to stay focused on coming to know your teammate better and what kinds of passes they could handle. Larry had the correct mindset as a passer, and he has continued his success in the business of basketball.

http://redsarmy.com/2012/05/18/larry-birdthe-most-successful-individual-in-basketball-history/

Being able to accelerate your progress in your business and your life at will….the only way to genuine peace of mind

April 13, 2013

You will most likely progress in your career without the Camp Negotiation Institute. Your habit of learning and growing got you to where you are, and it will take you further. At Camp we are not interested in simply helping you progress. If all you do is become a better negotiator with us, we will have failed according to our standards.  We want to accelerate your progress, and leave you with the means to safely accelerate on your own whenever you want.  If you don’t like rapid change, and don’t like to go faster, Camp is not for you. It is for this reason that we start by being sure that you are very comfortable telling us no. We don’t want to push this on anyone. With Camp you will become a leader and as any leader will tell you, it is lonely at the front and can be disorienting when you are in the habit of getting your bearings by looking to those who are ahead.  This really isn’t for everyone. But for some, it is exactly what they have been waiting for.

What are you waiting for?

We remain ready for your journey with us to either end or begin.

I hope to hear from you.

Wim Chase

wchase5@yahoo.com

401-338-8915

My overall mission and purpose

April 12, 2013

 To consciously impact the quality of decisions and  agreements of everyone I interact with so as to optimize their personal and professional health and growth thoughout their life and beyond. I do this by daily implementing superior methods of preparation, management and execution of all my activity and behavior.

So who wants to  ‘interact’ with me now? 🙂

5 steps to reframing obstacles in your negotiations so that you actually look forward to tackling them

January 20, 2013

Challenges in the right context can be fun, invigorating and ways to learn and grow.  I remember learning Spanish and loving the opportunity to try to communicate with a native Spanish speaker, as challenging as it was to get the nerve up to try to start the conversation.  I’d ask them to point out my errors because I was still learning. My lack of fluency was my obstacle, but my errors became my pathway to fluency, which I have since achieved and use almost daily.

In negotiation, obstacles are generally just seen as annoying at best and completely overwhelming at worst.  Even worse, they often stop us from even attempting to negotiate, and the alternative to negotiation can often involve neglect and even abuse of one or more of the parties that are going to be impacted by a decision.

So how can we transfer a positive even eager attitude to taking on negotiation challenges and obstacles?   You must change the context in which you see those obstacles. To help you see obstacles differently, the Camp Negotiation Management System instructs you to create a checklist as preparation to all negotiations and serves to change the context in which you see obstacles in the negotiation. The checklist reframes the obstacles in the following ways:

1)      The checklist shrinks obstacles: To start the checklist, you create a mission and purpose for your negotiations that sets your long-term aim. It is based on your vision of the features and benefits you want to bring to our adversary. You know why you are doing what you are doing, and not getting hung up on fixing everything right away because you know that what matters is that you end up where you want to go in the long run. Obstacles that seemed large up close are now viewed at a distance and effectively shrink.

2)      The checklist identifies obstacles and brings them into clearer focus:  You come up with a problem list, or a list of obstacles to the negotiation, and get clarity about what you and your adversary are facing. You may not know how you are going to deal with the obstacles, but knowing what they are and having them all laid out reduces uncertainty and fear.

3)      The checklist guides us to so we know where to start on obstacles: Obstacles or problems are prioritized to match the adversary’s vision of their importance and urgency. You start with what is most important to them. Your approach to obstacles is therefore organized to make you effective in the world of your adversary.

4)      The checklist makes sure you don’t get distracted from other tasks that are more essential to negotiation than obstacles. In the Camp system, you ask for what we want, and you always get it, because you want a decision from the adversary, usually yes or no to a proposal.  You do not create new obstacles by pushing for agreement.  And any obstacles that exist must not distract you from your most essential task in a negotiation, asking for what you want.

5)      The checklist   provides you with the tools to create vision that will solve the problems to overcome obstacles.   You create the questions and statements that you will make to build the vision required to face and overcome obstacles. It is the artistic side of negotiation, and at Camp it is often referred to as painting vision, with the words you choose acting as your brush strokes.

If you learn to execute a Camp checklist, you will not be intimidated by obstacles again. In fact, you will come to want to negotiate sooner rather than later by which time your procrastination may have hurt your position, not to mention added to your stress.

Please share your thoughts.

William Chase

Teaching our children and ourselves to know what we really want in family negotiations

December 7, 2012

If you think about it, every time that you speak, you are engaged in a human performance event. You have some sort of intention for your words when they leave your mouth, and you want the impact of your words to line up with your intention as much as possible. As a couple’s counselor, many arguments come down to each party vehemently defending their intentions as positive. I take this as a good sign because the alternative is for one or both parties to have negative intentions. When appropriate, I validate their good intentions, and I then ask if their actions had the intended impact. Often they didn’t. Once that is acknowledged we can get to solving the real problem by choosing actions that are more likely to have the intended effect.

The same principle also applies to disputes between parents and children. My 6 year old has been having tantrums lately. It only happens in our home. Her behavior is stellar in all other environments. At home, sometimes she gets very mad and can’t calm down. When this happens my intention is to take actions that calm her down. I try to say things calm her down. It doesn’t work. Nothing satisfies her. She gets angrier. Recently my wife and I have discussed this problem and we decided to just send her to her room. We don’t say anything about when she is coming out. We don’t talk.  She demands to be let out. She whines. She tries to strike a deal. We simply gesture for her to return to her room. Initially, we can hear the need in her voice and observe it in her behavior. Camp defines need as a self-induced and most often false conceptual position of survival; a dangerous emotional position showing great fear and weakness. Rather than respond to her needy communications, we have decided to wait until she starts to know what she wants. According to Camp, want is a self-induced emotional position with no hints of fear of survival; a strong and most critical position for an effective person to be in. Our parental mission is to teach her how to be an effective person.

This morning, I sent her to her room and waited for her to move from need to want. She tried several times to convince me to let her out, but I only let her out when she said these words in a low voice at a slow pace, “ Daddy, I want to come out of my room now.” I didn’t coach her to say want. I didn’t tell her it was the ‘magic word’. I must admit it can feel like magic when you develop the patience to want rather than need. My wife and I discovered that wanting her to calm down, and not needing her to calm down, was really the key to our starting to have success in effectively influencing her. It allowed us to follow a rule of the Camp system – no talking. Not meant to be taken literally, of course, but as much as possible, do not talk and instead listen, observe and learn about your adversary. When you better understand them, you have a better chance that your impact on them will line up with your intentions.


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